PART 4
I stared at Ethan.
“You met her?”
He nodded.
“Three years ago. After your father showed me the letters, I contacted her. I wanted to understand what had happened before I made any decisions.”
“And you visited her without telling me?”
“Yes.”
I felt another wave of disbelief.
“How many times?”
“Twice.”
I stepped away from him.
“Ethan, you don’t understand. You’ve been making decisions about my life with my father while leaving me completely out of them.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. You let me cry in the bathroom after my sister got engaged. You watched me pack my bags tonight. You let me believe I wasn’t enough.”
His eyes filled.
“I deserved your anger. I should have found another way.”
Dad quietly interrupted.
“Claire, I never wanted this to happen.”
I turned toward him.
“Then why did you make it happen?”
He looked down at his hands.
“Because Elizabeth asked me to wait until she could speak to you herself. She wanted to explain why she gave you up. She didn’t want you to think she had abandoned you.”
“Then why didn’t she call?”
“She was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
Dad took a moment before answering.
“She was afraid you’d hate her. She was only nineteen when she had you. Her parents had already passed away, the baby’s father refused to accept responsibility, and she was working two jobs just to survive. Your mother and I had a home, financial stability, and a chance to give you the childhood she couldn’t.”
I sank into the nearest chair.
For the first time, I could imagine a frightened nineteen-year-old girl holding a newborn and making a decision she would carry for the rest of her life.
But understanding her situation didn’t make the deception disappear.
“Where are the letters?” I asked.
Dad stood and walked toward the hallway.
“Come with me.”
We climbed the stairs to the attic.
Dust covered the old furniture, and the familiar smell of cardboard filled the room. Dad moved several boxes aside before pulling a small wooden chest from beneath a blanket.
He opened it.
Inside were dozens of envelopes.
Each one had my name written across the front.
Claire.
Some were addressed to me on my birthday.
Others were marked Christmas, graduation, and my twenty-first birthday.
My hands trembled as I picked up the first envelope.
The postmark was from twenty years earlier.
“Why did you keep these?”
Dad lowered his head.
“Your mother couldn’t bring herself to throw them away.”
I opened the envelope.
The letter was short.
Dear Claire,
I don’t know whether you’ll ever read this. I hope you are happy. I hope you have friends who make you laugh and people who make you feel safe. I think about you every day, especially on your birthday.
I wanted to hold you longer than I did. I wanted to watch you grow. But I knew I couldn’t give you everything you deserved.
Please never believe you were unwanted.
With all my love,
Elizabeth.
I pressed the letter against my chest.
Then I opened another.
And another.
There were photographs, too.
A young woman holding a tiny knitted blanket.
A birthday card with a small drawing of a cake.
A photograph of a little garden with a note saying it was the place where she imagined I might someday visit.
I began crying.
Not because I suddenly forgave everyone.
But because I had lost thirty-five years of a relationship I hadn’t even known existed.
At the bottom of the chest was a sealed envelope.
Dad pointed toward it.
“That one arrived last month.”
I opened it.
Robert,
I don’t know how much time I have left. The doctors say my heart is getting weaker, and I don’t want to leave this world without knowing whether Claire is happy.
Please tell her the truth.
I don’t want anything from her. I don’t want to disrupt her life. I only want the chance to look into her eyes and tell her that giving her up was the hardest decision I ever made.
If she doesn’t want to meet me, I’ll understand.
But please don’t make that decision for her.
Elizabeth.
I lowered the letter.
Dad was crying silently.
“Why didn’t you give this to me?”
“I was going to.”
“When?”
He had no answer.
I looked at Ethan.
“Is that why you bought the ring?”
He nodded.
“I spoke to Elizabeth after reading that letter. She told me she didn’t want to become an obstacle between us. She wanted you to have a happy future. She even told me that if I ever proposed, I should make sure you knew your story first.”
I stared at the diamond.
“And you thought the best way to do that was to keep me waiting?”
“No,” he said. “I thought I could convince your father to tell you. I thought he would do it before our anniversary. Then another month passed. Then another year. Every time I asked, he begged me to wait.”
Dad covered his face.
“I was ashamed.”
I turned toward him.
“You were afraid. I understand that. But you weren’t protecting me. You were protecting yourself.”
He nodded.
“You’re right.”
I put the letters back into the chest carefully.
“Give me Elizabeth’s phone number.”
Dad immediately took out his phone.
“I have it.”
I looked at him.
“Then call her.”
His hands shook as he dialed.
After several rings, a woman answered.
“Robert?”
Dad looked at me.
“Elizabeth, Claire is here.”
There was a long silence.
Then a trembling voice came through the speaker.
“Claire?”
I closed my eyes.
“Hello.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
She began crying.
“I don’t know what to say. I’ve imagined hearing your voice for thirty-five years.”
I struggled to speak.
“I read your letters.”
Another sob.
“You did?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”
I looked at the old photographs.
“I don’t know what happens next,” I whispered.
“You don’t have to decide anything today. I just wanted you to know I love you.”
For several seconds, I couldn’t answer.
Then I managed one sentence.
“I’d like to meet you.”
Her breathing caught.
“Really?”
“Yes. But I need time to understand everything.”
“Of course, sweetheart. I’ll wait.”
When the call ended, I sat on the attic floor surrounded by letters from a woman who had loved me from a distance.
For the first time that evening, I wasn’t thinking about the wedding.
I was thinking about the person I had never known.
And the chance that I might still get to know her.
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